She Blindsided me with Science (Science!!!).

Alright, so I got my wish. It looks good for me long-term-sub-wise, and no one had to die for it. It looks like I'll be subbing all the way 'till June - which is nice because I could sure use the money. However, I got my wish in a sort-of "Under the Tuscan Sun" kinda way. Okay, so Diane Lane (naked MILF from the film "Unfaithful") is complaining to this Italian Real Estate dealer about how she wants things like a wedding in her house, kids running all over the property, a family in her home, etc. In the end, she gets all of that, but you know, for other people - which sucks for her but in the end it's all good 'cause it's a chick flick whatever roll credits. Same thing happened to me, sans the hot MILF.

So, last week J***e - the payroll secretary who's also in charge of calling subs in the morning, asked if I could cover for the upper-grades Science teacher the week of Memorial day. Naturally, I said yes. So anyway Mrs. A*******s (the Science teacher) is also nine-months-pregnant, and consequently left plans not only for this week, but for every day up 'till the end of the year. Plus, instead of roaming the halls as a push-in sub, I get to work out of her classroom, with her resources and lesson plans. So, I don't think she's comin' back.

Awesome, yes? Well, I guess. Except that I was waiting for another pregnant teacher to pop first, the Pre-K teacher Mrs. S*******e (who always believed in me, by the way), so I could show the Principal how well I could deal with an early childhood classroom on my own. Also, Pre-K...is...

F#@KIN' AWESOME!

You get to play games, sing songs, go to the park, eat ice cream, read stories and act them out, do arts and crafts, store food in a refrigerator, have breakfast and lunch for free, and since you have a paraprofessional with you at all times, you can go to the bathroom whenever you need to - you know, the bathroom with a sink that's already in the classroom. Everything you do with these kids is a brand new experience - coloring, painting, writing, drawing, reading, singing, dancing, eating, drinking... you get the gist. Oh yeah, and air conditioning. In June.

Anyway, totally not complaining. I mean hey, I have steady work and at least I don't have swine flu. Yet.

By the way, I know what you're thinking - that that seahorse has huge balls - and you're right, 'cept those aren't his balls. That male seahorse is pregnant.