Can't get wasted on the terrace no more....

So today, as I was enjoying a homemade glass of iced coffee with vanilla whey protein (thanks Cat) on the terrace with one of my roommates, I saw a student walk past my apartment enjoying a cool bottle of Aranciata and the warm, late-spring weather. As she walked passed (and before I could hide my face), she saw me. The adorable five-year-old smiled, and with a wave yelled "Hi mister BLANK," to which I responded with a pleasant "Good morning, N*****a." However, as she turned the corner, I whispered a quiet "Crap!" to myself, because once again I was reminded of how, damn it - THEY KNOW WHERE I LIVE.

Living in the same neighborhood where I also work has its perks: a five-block commute, I can relieve myself in my own bathroom during lunch, all the parents are your neighbors and know who you are...it can be a pretty sweet deal. And don't get be wrong; a random "Hi mister BLANK" at the supermarket has, on several occasions, made my day - but seriously. A man's home (or hostel-like apartment) is his castle. I mean, a rather lame castle admittedly, but it's mine. A sacred place full of heffeweissen beer and Hulu clips and "Rock Band" drum kits. But no more.

No more drinking in the afternoon, no more picking up the mail topless, no more Norwegian Black Metal at 2 o'clock in the A.M....

But hey - at least she called me "Mister."

Don't be a Male Kindergärten Teacher in China... it sucks, apparently.

Damn, I thought I had it bad. Granted there's the whole "Is he a pedophile, or just gay" gauntlet I have to walk every day (I'm neither ladies, so stop being sexist and make out with me already), but at least I'm not being pushed out of a job. From accusatory stares, a socially inherent lack of respect and low wages to the prospect of never getting laid again, you're better off quitting or pulling a Columbine (at least they'll think you're a man after that, right?). Whatever.

Here's the link:

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-02/16/content_306573.htm

"According to statistics released by the Guangzhou education department, only 14 out of 28,422 kindergarten teachers in the city were men at the end of last year." To put that in perspective, that means .049% of kindergarten teachers in the city are men - or rather 1 male for every 2,032 female teachers. The national average for the U.S. is 2% for kindergarten, 24% for male teachers in general.



I give this guy like six months, tops.

"You look like the kind of Substitute that has a daughter."

So last week, I was covering this 4th grade class (a pretty awesome class by the way, despite the fact that they drove me nuts), and during dismissal this girl - one of the best students in the class tells me that I "look like the kind of Substitute that has a daughter." I still have no idea what she meant.

However, I was struck with awe, and a bunch of things ran through my mind. Was she saying I can't raise boys? Or that I'm kind of effeminate? Was I too stern or too lenient with the girls during that coverage? I can't recall. Ultimately I took it as a compliment, 'cause she could have just as easily said "You look like the kind of Substitute that's a 28-year-old unmarried childless loser," but she didn't, and that's cool.

Sesame Street on Demand!!!

Yes sir... if you have PLEX software for Mac Leopard, you can download the streaming application (it even lets you do searches!). However, if you are not lucky enough to be roommates with a computer guru, you can always go to http://www.sesamestreet.org/videos to check out almost every sketch and clip ever made for sesame street over the past 40 years.